It is with heavy hearts that we share the news of the passing of Barbara R. (Schneck) VanEssendelft, a beloved mother, grandmother, and cherished member of the Sayville community. Barbara, 79, of Midlothian, VA, passed away peacefully at home on February 24, 2026, surrounded by her loving family.
We extend our deepest condolences to her daughter Jenn (VanEssendelft) Schwenzer, who reached out to us this evening, and to the entire family on this profound loss.
Barbara’s roots in Sayville ran incredibly deep. A graduate of Sayville High School, Class of 1964, her high school sweetheart was Duane Walter “Skip” VanEssendelft, Class of 1963. Their love story became the foundation of a family whose ties to our schools and community have remained strong, as all four of their children — Scott, Jeff, Lori, and Jenn, are proud Sayville High School graduates.
A woman of generous spirit, Barbara touched many lives. For several years, she volunteered as an EMT, a role that perfectly reflected her desire to help others. She also built lifelong friendships through her work, including as a top Tupperware sales consultant and as an Administrative Assistant at St. Joseph’s College. Her greatest pride and joy, however, was her role as “Mema” to her nine grandchildren.
We are grateful to Jenn for allowing us to help inform the many friends, classmates, and the entire community of Barbara’s passing.
A beautiful and detailed obituary, published courtesy of Affinity Funeral Service, is available online. We encourage you to read it and share your memories in the guestbook at the following link: [Barbara R. VanEssendelft Obituary](https://affinityfuneralservice.com/obituaries/barbara-r-vanessendelft). An intimate celebration of Barbara’s life will be scheduled for a later date. The obituary is also printed below for your convenience.
Barbara VanEssendelft, 79, of Midlothian, VA, passed away peacefully at home on February 24, 2026, surrounded by her family.
Born August 10, 1946, in Brooklyn, New York, to Adolph George and Ruth Emily Arre Schneck, Barbara was raised in Sayville, Long Island. She was preceded in death by her husband, Duane “Skip” VanEssendelft.
Barbara was known for her generous spirit and her ability to connect with people. For several years, she volunteered her time as an EMT – a role that reflected her desire to help others and one she spoke of with pride. She also built lifelong friendships through her work, including her years as a top Tupperware sales consultant and as an Administrative Assistant in the athletic department of St. Joseph’s College.
She is survived by her children: Scott and his wife Jannine; Jeff and his wife Lisa; Lori and her husband Chris; and Jenn and her husband John.
Of all the roles in her life, her proudest was Mema to Zachary (Fiancé Jacqueline), Sarah, Justin (Wife Allie), Danny, Kassandra, Jake, Ryan, Jack, and Andrew.
There will be an intimate celebration of life scheduled at a later date.
In lieu of flowers, donations in her honor may be made to either Crater Community Hospice at https://cratercommunityhospice.org or to Community Ambulance Company PO Box 450 Sayville, NY 11782.
To honor Barbara’s memory and her deep connection to Sayville, the Sayville Alumni Association will remember her annually on her birthday, August 10th. We hope this small gesture provides some solace to her family and all who knew and loved her. She will be deeply missed.
