We are saddened to hear of the passing of Emily (Lissandrello) VanLaeys, a member of the Class of 1971.

Our thoughts and condolences are with her family, friends, classmates, and teachers during this difficult time.

In memory of Emily, a memorial page has been established, and the Sayville Alumni Association will honor her annually on her birthday, September 5th. It is our hope that this tribute provides solace to all who knew and cherished her, ensuring that her spirit remains alive in our hearts.

We extend our heartfelt gratitude to Judi (Hone) McHugh, also from the Class of 1971, for her efforts in obtaining this obituary from Emily’s husband. We are thankful to Mark, Emily’s husband, for graciously sharing this very touching obituary, which allows us to celebrate Emily’s life in such a significant manner.

Obituary for Emily Jean (Lissandrello)

September 5th, 1953 – March 3rd, 2025

It is with our sadness but Emily’s joy that I announce that she has left the challenging bonds of earth – March 3rd. Vera, Peter and I were all holding her hands as she took her last breaths.

Emily Jean Lissandrello was born to Eugene and Mary (Moore) Lissandrello, September 5, 1953, in Nyack, New York. Seventy one years later, she left terra firma here in Delavan, Wisconsin for what she termed “The Great Adventure.” She was remarkably courageous, never thinking of her 10 month challenge with cancer as a battle – “dying is a normal part of life when you’ve lived as long as I have.” And yet she would weep at the loss of young lives so often lost to violence.

She spent most of her childhood in Sayville which is a small town on Long Island. It was there that she developed her love of the Great South Bay and eventually any and all bodies of water. Think – swimming, beautiful sun rises, spectacular sunsets, crashing waves and the peace we find as we float on our backs in that which – sustains us all.

She learned to read at a very early age and discovered the power of the written word. She loved exploring different cultures, historical periods, spiritual practices, and the different ways that people understand and experience God. She had a depth of compassion and empathy that transcended borders and the superficial differences that so many of us can’t see beyond. Overflowing with love, neither bitterness nor hate ever found a place in her.

She was always a mother, wife and grand-mother extraordinaire, prioritizing family over everything. She was a mentor to her offspring and her husband who has been trying to grow up since they met in Yellowstone nearly five decades ago.

Always curious , Emily never shied away from the deeper realities of other people’s stories. Over her years in Sayville, New York, Massachusetts, Alabama,Tennessee, and finally Wisconsin, she shared her work as a writer and her kindness as a beautiful human being.

There were no “others” in her world. She had an all inclusive view of humanity and nature stressing the connections between all forms of life. Over the past five years, her newest passion was developing pollinator friendly “native gardens” and she revelled in the butterflies and birds which she attracted. She firmly believed that we are all interdependent in countless ways and connected via the loving God who is within and beyond us.

A recent note to Emily in a get well card expressed her gift so eloquently – “you have led a life of faithfulness, modeling what it means to live in Christ’s light.” Anyone who has been blessed with knowing her understands what he means. I would be remiss if I didn’t add that having Emily as my wife was a gift beyond measure. Our marriage was definitely not perfect but we always made whatever compromises were necessary to ensure that it remained strong. A kiss/ hug and an “I Love You” were accordingly the bookends of each day.

In closing, this past September Emily gave me specific instructions on what she did not want people to dwell on after she took leave from her life here. In her own words,
“Please don’t offer a chronological list of the schools I attended or the jobs that I’ve held. That’s not what my life was about. My life has been a lesson in love and I hope that I learned how to do everything in love, whether it was office work, writing, mothering, cooking, gardening or performing weddings. Yes it was easier to feel love in some moments than others, but love was always my goal. ” I suspect that we can all agree that she accomplished that goal.

In short, I believe Emily demonstrated with her life what a fine human being looks like. Thank you all for being part of her life and ours.

Emily was predeceased by her parents but is survived by her brother Steve Harvester and his wife Judy Harvester of Westfield MA, brother Chris Lissandrello and his wife Gail Lissandrello of Afton NY, and sister Alyssa Sugar and her husband Bill Sugar of Greenville NC. 

Her finest accomplishments, with a tiny bit of help from her husband Mark, were two stellar “children” Vera and Peter. Her firstborn was Vera (Ley) who lives in West Bend with her loving husband Paul Ley, her two children Alex and Clara Hamilton and bonus children – Nick Ley, Ryan Ley, and Dani Ley. Son Peter VanLaeys lives in Madison Wisconsin with his fiancée’ Madeline Norton.

Emily is also survived by a total of eighteen nieces and nephews. She has always cherished those in her blended and extended family as well.

WE WILL HAVE A CELEBRATION OF LIFE HERE IN DELAVAN, TOWARD THE END OF JUNE – further details to be shared as they become available